Amped-Up Anxiety: When a Crisis Has Your Bacon All Out of Whack

I’ve been in flippin’ fantastic Baconator status for a long while now. I was meditating and journaling every day, I was thinking positive thoughts, I had just started seeing this really nice guy, I finally had my finances (somewhat) in order, and I was feeling sexy as shit. 

Enter the coronavirus. Suddenly, my thoughts turned into THIS:

What have I been doing with my life??

How could I let myself get so distracted by loving myself when I should have been preparing??

I’m not a billionaire yet! I can’t die NOW!

Where’s my cat??

Did my throat just itch?? Was that a cough?? I’M DYING!

FUCK meditation – I need to EAT while I still can!

Bye bye bacon, hello panic. 

When we’re faced with a crisis, it’s easy to fall down a spiral of guilt and anxiety. We begin thinking about all the things we haven’t accomplished yet, and we convince ourselves that we should have been more prepared. We fall into a pit of “what-ifs,” and suddenly loving ourselves seems ridiculous and even selfish. 

But if anything, it’s more important now than ever to love our bootiful-bacon selves.

And I’m here to tell you that you’re allowed to do that. 

Yes, little things like getting your daily dose of caffeine in the morning, making it to work on time, and trimming your toenails before you enter hobbit territory suddenly become much smaller priorities in the grand scheme of things. 

But DO NOT give in to the negative thoughts that bury your bacon beneath shitloads of panic. 

First, we do not know enough about the coronavirus to know how extreme its effects may get. So why waste time obsessing over what COULD or MIGHT happen? Obsessing does nothing useful. It just consumes your time and makes you miserable. 

Second, it’s a lot more comforting and reassuring to accept who and where you presently are in life. The state of events in the world is NOT your fault. Things are as they are. They are NOT in your control. How you REACT to them, however, IS in your control. Focus on being kind to others (AND yourself), rather than panicking and hoarding all the toilet paper from the people who were already lacking BEFORE the coronavirus shit went down.

Of course, if you genuinely feel that you haven’t spent enough of your life loving yourself and others, now is the perfect time to reevaluate. To clarify, I’m not saying you should look at how much you suck as a person and sulk in shitty feelings of self-loathing. 

What I AM saying is that you’re allowed to accept that you could change your perspective on life and start living and loving RIGHT NOW. TODAY. PRESENTLY. AHORA. And just because you’re starting later doesn’t make it any less fulfilling. But do it in a way that’s accepting and kind to yourself. Don’t act in panic, proceeding in desperation and shoving money down the throats of every Cruise, Van Dyke, and Styles that passes you by. (And not just because they’re celebrities with plenty of cash to spare…)

There’s great peace in acceptance. Accepting who you are. Accepting the world as it is. Accepting others. Accepting that yes, something bad could happen, but that doesn’t mean you’ve wasted your life away and it’s too late to change. 

Love your bacon. Forgive any parts of your life that are non-bacon. Ignore the Anti-Bacon

Breathe. Relax. Be kind. Repeat.

(My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone who is suffering from the coronavirus or has lost someone to it. Stay strong, stay crispy!)

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