So I live in downtown Rochester, which means I usually shop at the Wegmans out that way. (For those who aren’t familiar with the name, Wegmans is a big-deal grocery store chain founded in Rochester. Dis it, and any Rochesterian will beat you dead.)
There’s one problem I have with the downtown Wegmans (DON’T KILL ME, ROCHESTERIAN KAREN!): It’s ALWAYS crowded… with the slowest and most inconsiderate people known to man. (Okay, so they’re all probably really good people in a rush, just like me… But that’s not the point.)
No matter which aisle I walk down, there’s ALWAYS someone standing right in front of whatever it is I’m trying to get to. One time, these two old guys were standing right in front of the maxi pads and tampons having a discussion about oil leaks. I was all like, “Seriously, dudes, I’m seconds away from leaking myself, if you really wanna see a machine out of sorts… Hope you like the color red.”
Then there are the ladies who stop every two steps to look at every crouton, chip, and berry you can think of, but you can’t pass them because they’re walking directly in the center of the aisle (I WANT MY CREAM PUFFS, BITCH). And don’t EVEN get me started on the corner killers, who I’m positive have run over at least one child or two as they sweep around the corners of every aisle, without so much as a glance back at the blood they leave behind…
I’m getting all worked up, give me a sec… What was my point?
I used to feel super guilty for getting so annoyed at things, like people at the downtown Wegmans. But getting annoyed is okay. The important thing is that we know how to coax ourselves down enough to remember that humans can be annoying, but that doesn’t make them bad people. And humans get annoyed, but that doesn’t make them bad people either.
We’re Human, Which Means We Naturally Get Annoyed
It’s okay to feel annoyed from time to time. We typically can’t help it. It may be especially easy to get annoyed when you’re someone who struggles with a mental disorder, such as OCD. What matters is how we respond to our annoyed feelings. If I were to smack a corner killer with a baseball bat as she rounded the corner, for example, that would be a very bad response. (Not that I’ve fantasized about that or anything…)
A better response would be to recognize that you’re feeling annoyed, consciously validate your reasons for feeling annoyed, and remind yourself that you don’t have to feel that way. Acknowledge that feeling annoyed is human nature, and that the people who are annoying you aren’t bad people. Yes, they’re annoying you right now, and sometimes people are just plain inconsiderate – that’s on them. You don’t have to let them get to you. You don’t even have to know their backstory for either being assholes or just completely oblivious. All you need to do is acknowledge that they have their own thing going on.
Doing so will make it easier to stay in your own lane. (Or aisle, in my case.)
It’s easy to think of yourself as a dick or a bitch for getting annoyed so quickly. But when you do that, you aren’t loving yourself, and focusing on negative perceptions (NOT truths) of yourself makes it a reality. You start to manifest what you think about yourself. In other words, if I think I’m a bitch and feel like a bitch, I start acting like a bitch. That, in turn, makes me like myself even less, and the downward spiral ensues…
Be forgiving and understanding with yourself when you feel annoyed. It’s normal. Simply use it as an opportunity to consciously check in with yourself, and perhaps identify if there’s a deeper reason for feeling annoyed. Did you have a rough day at work? Did your dog pee in your morning coffee? Have you been feeling emotionally rejected by your cat? Has your goldfish been giving you the cold shoulder? (Not sure why I’m using so many pet examples, but you get my point.)
You’re allowed to comfort yourself when you feel annoyed. Even bacon feels a little stale sometimes. When your bacon is feeling stale, simply give it some warm, cookin’ love and comfort it back to confidence and patience.
Feeling guilty about feelings that are human nature ain’t gonna do you any good. (And no, don’t feel guilty about feeling guilty about feeling annoyed…) It will only make you think that you’re the kind of person who always gets annoyed, which will manifest as you being a person who’s constantly annoyed at everything. But you don’t have to be that person.
And no, I’m not just saying all this to make myself feel better for contemplating bleeding all over the men’s shoes in the tampon aisle at Wegmans…