Take Care of Your Awesomeness: How to Self-Care Like a Bacon Boss

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I don’t know if you’ve heard, but self-care is all the rage these days. (Yes, this is one of THOSE posts. It’s about to get all warm and fuzzy up in here!) Everyone has their own way of doing it, so of course I would too, duh. 

Seriously though, similar to how actual bacon needs to be cooked just right and not left out on the counter to rot, you need to take care of your bacon. Otherwise, you risk letting stress, anxiety, depression, and pesky toxic people eat away at it until it’s just a burnt nub. 

So without further ado, here are my top tips to help you self-care like a badass bacon boss. (Try saying that 10x fast, I dare you.)

First Things First: Do Whatever it Takes to Get Out of Your Head

This is the first thing you should do before you begin your self-care, especially if you’ve had a particularly stressful or depressing day (or week, month, hour, etc.).

The best way to do this is to write it all out in a stream of consciousness, whether it be in a journal, letters (to yourself, to people you’re frustrated with, etc.; without actually sending them, of course), venting out loud to yourself (or your poor pet), screaming (if you’re feeling repressed emotions), or anything else you can think of. The key is to feel that release, like you’ve emptied out all the clutter that’s clogging up your mental capacity. Get rid of that shit!

Get Into the Meditation Zone

You should dive right into meditation immediately after clearing out all that clutter, because that’s the best time to sit peacefully: when your mind feels empty. Sit for at least five minutes. Sit comfortably, focus on your breathing, and if it helps keep you out of your head, say a mantra or BMT (Bacon Meditation Term) of your choosing.

Exercise That Bacon

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that physical exercise helps your body release endorphins, which naturally puts you in a better mood. That’s right, Karen, you’re gonna have to get that butt MOVIN’. Whether it’s yoga or a hardcore weightlifting session, or even just a brisk walk, take at least 15 minutes to exercise as part of your self-care routine. 

Eat Something So Delicious it Makes You Cry (Not Really)

Okay, so maybe I’ve almost cried, but just ALMOST, KAREN. I’m not saying you should pig out and stuff yourself with a bunch of junk food, but think of something that would really be a treat. Most recently, for me, it was cream puffs. I bought one of those jumbo boxes so that I had something to look forward to at the end of the work day. Just one cream puff… or two… can transport me to my (very) happy place.

Hygiene it Up

No, I am not insinuating that you stink (but you should check yourself just in case, Karen). If you’re like me, there are some hygienic practices that just make your feel so good, clean, and relaaaaaaaaaxed. For example, I enjoy face masks, shampooing with my favorite scents, doing my nails, and shaving my legs. (Yes, I shave regularly, KAREN, but I’m talking like a calm, soothing shave without the rush.)

For you gents out there, it might be shaving your face and using your favorite aftershave. (Or something like that; sorry, I ain’t a guy and I don’t ask questions because I ain’t that curious… Unless you stink, in which case I’m tryin’ to tell ya somethin’ needs to change, bro.)

Try Your Hand at Coloring

You don’t have to be a child to enjoy coloring. It’s simple and requires no hardcore thinking. It’s also soothing and I highly recommend it as a self-care practice.

If you think coloring is for sissies, I have a Doctor Who coloring book, so COME AT ME, BRO.

Do a Puzzle

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Okay, so depending on the size of the puzzle, you may have to do a little more thinking with this one. But it’s a fun kind of thinking (unless you have very little patience, in which case, stick to the coloring).

Look for a puzzle of something of particular interest to you. For example, I have a candy themed puzzle, as well as a Coca-Cola themed puzzle. (I know, I’m at risk for diabetes, LEAVE ME ALONE.)

Organize Something Simple (And Not Stressful)

Like don’t go organizing your taxes or anything like that. I’m talking about something like organizing your photo albums or a scrapbook. Something that feels good to accomplish, but isn’t going to stress you out in the process.

Read Something (Anything) for At Least 15 Minutes

Self-help book? Read it. Comic book? Sure. Lord of the Rings? Go for it. Phone book? Hey, whatever floats your boat, man.

Jam Out to Your Favorite Playlist

This is one of my favorite self-care practices because music that inspires or moves you in some way can help you really get in touch with yourself. 

Can’t think of any tunes? Try one of these 22 songs that give me serious feels.  

Make a List of Your Favorite Things

Julie Andrews, anyone? No? Seriously though, sometimes we get so caught up in our work and other responsibilities that we lose track of the things we really enjoy. Simply writing out the things you love forces you to consciously recognize what you like and how that’s very much a part of who your bacon is. Get to know your bacon, and better yet, DO or interact with something from that list.

Make a List of the Things You Love About Yourself

DO. IT. I don’t want to hear any crap about how “there’s nothing I love about myself.” Uh, no. Unacceptable. Force yourself to write a list of things you love about yourself, because that bacon is the SHIZZLE.

For example, I love my butt, the sexy way my profile looks when I smile with my unique teeth (I’ve seen myself in pictures, okay, KAREN?), my thick hair, and my quirky sense of humor. 

BOOM. Your turn.

Take a Nap (For Real)

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I only just started taking naps recently, and oh man… what I’ve been missing. I know it’s hard to find time to take naps, but try at least every couple weeks to schedule a snippet of time on a day when you’re not too busy to nap it out. DURING THE DAY. (Crazy, I know.) 

If it helps, pretend you’re a toddler and that napping is mandatory or else no cookies for you.

Do Something You Love

Go back to that list you made of your favorite things (if it included activities). Make time for it, revel in it. Consciously appreciate how much you love it. For example, I love comedy, so I may binge a bunch of Conan O’Brien episodes, and I consciously recognize my sense of humor and appreciation of witty sarcasm. It helps me love my bacon even more. 

There you have it. Those are my self-care tips. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m very much feeling like one of them cream puffs is calling my name… GET YO OWN, KAREN!


  1. I like them all. Cream puffs are probably my favorite desert. Writing down the things you like or love about yourself is a great tip. Taking care of ourselves is so important. Thanks for this great post. Now I am jonesing for a bit of a puff now!! Love Joni

    Liked by 1 person

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